Thursday, February 23, 2006 @ 7:44 PM
i am very scared.
i feel insecure.
am i the burden that is stopping the group from growing?
i constantly ask myself.
i really don't mind seeing dawn rise up to be a leader instead of me, i don't mind being the lowest status person in church- but i would really mind it if im the one that is stopping the group from growing.
i really want to see His Kingdom extend.
it's been so long, daddy. all of us, dawn and guihao and me, are banging so hard. so why is hihs not growing?
am i the burden?
Lord, if i am, would you please tell me and guide me through. teach me to change for you, just, do whatever you want to me to help the group grow. i don't want to see the group like this forever. it has to grow! if i'm not the burden, may you tell me that i'm not, and take this insecurity away from me. i want to b secure in You.
God, God, God. please Lord. i really want to see Your Kingdom extend. it has to happen.
Daddy, father, please teach me to find security in you that the group will grow. give me the childlike faith i want to have, to believe that it's possible with you.
i'm sinful- but God, please. i want to see Your Kingdom grow. i want to be the one plating the smile on Your face.
God, whatever it may be- i want to learn to trust in you wholeheartedly that it's the best for me.
father, please, father.
i want.